Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
