Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
