btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
