We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
