went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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