yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
