do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
