Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
