I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
