I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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