i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
