omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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