Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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