cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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