they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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