and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
