She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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