GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
