True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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