At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
