Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
