I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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