y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
