Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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