jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The power of my boobs compel you
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
