well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
