"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
a search helicopter?!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
