Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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