What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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