the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
How naked do you want me to be?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
