look no pants
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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