if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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