I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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