Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
