Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
