Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
