she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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