I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
