I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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