drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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