her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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