evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
