Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
