She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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