he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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