He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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