Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem

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  (810): none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem http://tfl.nu/6j6s
  Replies (6) Good night (716) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

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  (516): She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot. http://tfl.nu/dkig
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back

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  (617): but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back http://tfl.nu/ogq4
  Replies (30) Good night (858) Bad night (2215) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.

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  (715): went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower. http://tfl.nu/u1zb
  Replies (22) Good night (7848) Bad night (1215)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize

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  (701): Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize http://tfl.nu/1v86
  Replies (50) Good night (4164) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made

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  (404): "auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made http://tfl.nu/y4iq
  Replies (23) Good night (749) Bad night (4558) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

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  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
  Replies (150) Good night (14463) Bad night (3211) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical

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  (612): I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical http://tfl.nu/u7u5
  Replies (18) Good night (9344) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.

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  (309): i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex. http://tfl.nu/maqt
  Replies (29) Good night (793) Bad night (7299) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.

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  (607): he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too. http://tfl.nu/lk4d
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (2744) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

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  (702): Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent. http://tfl.nu/4is5
  Replies (20) Good night (5284) Bad night (870)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.

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  (317): I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket. http://tfl.nu/1ame
  Replies (6) Good night (1960) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?

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  (904): he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french? http://tfl.nu/ofgx
  Replies (26) Good night (7280) Bad night (837)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.

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  (512): I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again. http://tfl.nu/arot
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (1863) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing

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  (570): Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing http://tfl.nu/4996
  Replies (5) Good night (228) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt

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