well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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