You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him