what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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