Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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