So drunk its hurt
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
