Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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