I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
