You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
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I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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