just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
