the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You are the jesus of drinking
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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