I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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