I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
