The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
